Thursday, November 28, 2013

Die, Turkey! Die!


Turkeys that are bred for consumption are purposely overfed so they are the plumpest they can be. More meat on the bird means more meat for already-oversized Americans to eat on Thanksgiving. (heartwarming)

Every year the President of the United States, who I assume has some sort of important business that he could be tending to, spends time in front of a news crew ‘pardoning’ turkeys whose lives are being spared from becoming some fat family’s feast. 

According to the director of the pardoned turkeys enclosure at George Washington’s Mount Vernon estate (yes, this is a real place), turkeys bred for eating have short lifespans and usually die of ‘natural causes’ (no blame placed on the breeders who feed them to death) within a year of being pardoned by the President. 

So, I think the President should stop this yearly bullshit pardoning charade and get busy on something more important, such as, oh, I don’t know, running the country. (just a thought)

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