A Squirrel Was Murdered

I saw a squirrel get murdered on my way to work yesterday. The killer was the tires on the car in front of me. The timing could not have been more perfect for that squirrel to run into the street - right into the passing car. The person driving never saw it coming, but once she hit the squirrel, she swerved ever so slightly toward the curb and her brake lights came on. She looked in her rear view mirror and saw the little guy laying in the road. She realized what happened and I knew she felt bad about it. I don't know how I knew that, but I did. 

When he got hit, his little body flipped up in the air and spun around twice like he was doing a somersault, then he landed on the pavement motionless. And when he hit the ground, a brown perfectly round ball slowing rolled away from his little body. That little ball bothered me. Was it a nut from inside his cheek or was it a little squirrel poop that got knocked out of him? It just added to the intensity of it all. That night, I found myself googling pictures of squirrel poop on the internet, because it was weighing on me and I wanted to know what it was. It said squirrel poop is usually little logs, rounded on the ends. So, I'm still not sure but, somehow, the thought of it being poop bothered me more than if it was a nut, because it just made the whole horrible event just that much more undignified for that poor little guy who didn't deserve to die that day. 

I'm gonna be thinking about that squirrel for a while.

White Wine in the Sun

*I originally posted this in 2017, but it's too good to let Christmas pass without posting it again. Merry Christmas!*


I just bought my copy of White Wine in The Sun on Amazon.com for $0.99 cents with proceeds going to the National Autistic Society (NAS), which is a charity I know nothing about, but trust if Tim Minchin supports it it is deserving of my tiny donation.

Barefoot Tim Minchin's Christmas song gives us the vision of what a good family is -- not a perfect one -- but one that makes us glad and sad at the same time and reminds us that "these are the people who make you feel safe in this world."

He pitches words of hope and thoughts of empathy to people (all of us) who struggle to find normalcy and understanding in a world that is both somber and sunny ... dark and light ... sad and happy ... every minute.

Listen. Enjoy. Laugh and Cry. And feel free to buy it on Amazon if you choose.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. 

And Christmas Cheer to My Tiny but Mighty Family

You Tube: White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin

Warm Baths Make Sperm Fall Asleep - How Cute is That?

Did you ever slip into a warm bath and find it so relaxing that you just wanted to close your eyes and fall asleep? Yea, well, sperm feel the same way. 

When sperm are placed in a warm bath, they have a hard time keeping their little eyes open (sperm don't really have eyes) and they fall asleep and don't move.

A German woman who is an industrial design graduate from the University of Munich won an award for creating a warm bath for testicles that puts sperm to sleep and acts as a male birth control device. 

She was diagnosed with cervical cancer from using birth control pills. Her and her partner decided to find a birth control method that he could use and - GUESS WHAT? - they couldn't find one they liked. So, she invented one. 

It's called the COSO male birth control device. It's a little bath tub that you fill with water, hit a button to heat the water, then dip your balls into the warm bath for a few minutes. Sounds fun. 

I'm not sure how long the sperm stay asleep, but while they're asleep they're not swimming around looking for an egg. 

 

Here is the link to a Vimeo video showing how it works: 

 *Spoiler alert! No live balls were used to make this video.

 Testicle Bath Video

If God Made Us, Shouldn't We Be Perfect?

 My son once dated a nice girl whose mother was a very religious woman. She wasn’t just very religious, really, she was one of those angry religious people. The ones who use God to hate others and insult others and be rude to others. 

I hesitate to call her a holy roller because that seems too jovial of a term to describe her. She worked at her church, in some capacity or another, and she crusaded to save the planet … so much so that she did not hesitate to spew hatred toward anyone who she felt was breaking God’s great planet. Because, of course, God would want his chosen ones – the seers of the light – to spew anger at anyone who dares not follow the path of righteousness and holiness and planet saving.

But, I guess my question to her, if she would have given me the time of day the one and only time I met her instead of dismissing me and walking away for I’m not sure what reason, would be, “If God is all-knowing and all-loving and all-everything-perfect-and-wise-and-good, why did he make such a mess of the human body that he claims to have created?

What was he thinking when he made teeth that rot and toenails that grow for no apparent reason?  Why do bones break and breasts sag? Why do our ears fill with wax and why the fuck are the intestines over 15 feet long? – no wonder everyone has polyps and no one can shit properly. 

And why do our hearts have 4 chambers when one big sturdy chamber probably would have been more efficient. Why do our cells grow uncontrollably and cause cancer? And why do balls shrink while the sac of skin that holds them grows longer and longer?!

Why do we get frostbite in the cold weather and heat stroke in the hot weather? And why do so many people need glasses?

Why do our brains shrink as we age and why are so many people sad and mean and lonely and in pain?

Why are people hateful and hurtful and sneaky and dangerous? And why do our bodies have to die?

The Godly answer will be that Eve screwed everything up by eating an apple. But. Come. Now.

Seriously.   

If God made us, why aren’t we perfect? 

 

 

 

The Best Mother's Day Gift

Today is Mother's Day, and the material world often skews what is really important. Thankfully, this year's glut of advertisements urging everyone to buy chocolates and flowers and jewelry for their moms has come to an end. 

And I look at my son ... all grown up now. A man. An honest, hard-working man who watches out for me now that I'm getting older. Who helps me every time I need help. Who is more wise and more logical and more educated and more well-traveled than me. The son I raised who has seemingly grown up overnight, in the blink of an eye, because I think it was only yesterday that I brought him home from the hospital as a tiny newborn baby, but really that was 1985. It only seems like yesterday. 

So, the best gift for me is to see my son more successful and happier and wiser and more adventurous and braver than me, because that was always my hope. That he would be bigger and better than me. And he is.

My gift is my son. That is all I need every day.

 

Art

Multimedia sketch of "Joyous Woman" by Angel K

 

The Man Who Invented Cling Wrap

He thought up cling wrap as a cure

for keeping food both fresh and pure.

But what he never seemed to see,

is how it sticks to you and me.

It clings itself and wraps around,

the nearest thing that it has found.

It ends up in a crumpled mess,

creating anger, tears, and stress.

While wrestling with this sticky stuff,

you finally scream, “I’ve had enough!”

You smash it in a twisted ball,

and throw it out for once and all.

Another wasted piece of wrap

that turned into a booby trap.

Stores make their cash, so does the man

who came to think up this great scam.

When will we learn to turn our back

on luring, pricey retail crap?

If I could find the lovely man

who came to think up this great plan,

I’d wrap him up all snug and tight,

while trying to hide my scorn and spite.

Like some colossal meat-like treat,

I’d even wrap his manly feet.

And once he’s bound snug as a bug,

I’d drag him like a rolled-up rug,

out to the curb for rubbish day,

all cling wrapped fresh is how he’d stay.

 

 

Published on Rhyme Zone, November 2, 2020, 

https://ckaredes.medium.com/the-man-who-invented-cling-wrap-fc89192aa56a

Howard Zinn Was Right About Democrats and Republicans

(I wrote this post about 4 years ago. I am reposting it, because it still holds true today).

I honestly can't get excited about politics and what politicians have to say anymore, because reality and history prove it futile to expend my energy on getting angry about what happens on Capitol Hill.

The truth is that Democrats and Republicans are one in the same. Yup, I said it. They are the same in the sense that they are the elitists of society, that both sides are living the good life and prospering. They wine and dine together; they are friends while attempting to convey personas of archenemies.

Politicians are cohorts in the great masquerade called politics. And all of us ... rich, poor, working class, upper middle class ... we are all the target of their rhetoric and talking-in-circles-speeches because they need us to vote for them. Both sides need all of us to take sides and fight and protest and passionately defend our respective candidates despite knowing - deep down in our core - that our elected officials will do nothing to change our lives. Despite all the fear-mongering they employ (which definitely drives votes), new laws, new rules, new budgets, new social programs will have no real impact on any of our lives. 

Rich people will stay rich.
Poor people will stay poor.
Working class people will stay working class.

There is a reason why politicians work so hard at getting re-elected and spending decades on Capitol Hill ... because it is lucrative for them. Politicians continue to hope we won't notice how comfortable of a living they make while they are in office. The cars they drive, the clothes they wear, the investments they make, the luncheons they attend, the security they enjoy, top-notch healthcare plans, yearly cost of living raises all come from securing our votes and spending our tax money.

We are the backbone of their financial well-being and we demand nothing in return.

Notice that if we write our legislators about an issue, we most likely will receive a canned response in the form of a generic, preprinted letter with the politician's stamped signature at the bottom of it, telling us all the reasons that nothing will change their mind about their legislative decisions regardless of our concerns. That's quite a kick in the ass after we hit the campaign trail for our candidates: we worked phone banks, we manned obscure campaign offices, we balanced signs with our candidate's name and face on our cars, we littered our lawns with those same signs, we went door to door and let people scream in our faces and got chased by dogs, we collected signatures, we drove elderly strangers to the polls on election day to pull in more votes for them, and we voted for them -- all the time thinking our candidates cared about us and would do what is best for us and would (somehow) make our lives better.

This is some crazy shit, because politicians don't change our lives. We are the only ones who can change our lives. 

It's all on us.

The late Howard Zinn, an absolute social activist, talked about class warfare and the relationship between Democrats and Republicans way back when. We should have paid attention.

"When the Democrats are attacked for [inciting class warfare] they shrink back. They don't say what obviously should be said, "Yes, there is class warfare. There has always been class warfare in this country." The reason the Democrats shrink back is because the Democrats and the Republicans are on the same side of the class war. They have slightly different takes. The Democrats are part of the upper class that is more willing to make concessions to the lower class in order to maintain their power."                                                   HOWARD ZINN, interview, Identity Theory, Jan. 10,2001

Ripple | Playing For Change | Song Around The World

"Playing For Change (PFC) is a movement created to inspire and connect the world through music, born from the shared belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people. The primary focus of PFC is to record and film musicians performing in their natural environments and combine their talents and cultural power in innovative videos called Songs Around The World. Creating these videos motivated PFC to form the Playing For Change Band—a tangible, traveling representation of its mission, featuring musicians met along their journey; and establish the Playing For Change Foundation—a separate 501(c)3 nonprofit organization dedicated to building music and art schools for children around the world. Through these efforts, Playing For Change aims to create hope and inspiration for the future of our planet."

To learn more about the work of the PFC Foundation, visit http://www.playingforchange.org

Louie Might Be Back Someday

Credit: Noam Galai/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival

White Wine in The Sun by Tim Minchin

I just bought my copy of White Wine in The Sun on Amazon.com for $0.99 cents with proceeds going to the National Autistic Society (NAS), which is a charity I know nothing about, but trust if Tim Minchin supports it it is deserving of my tiny donation.

Barefoot Tim Minchin's Christmas song gives us the vision of what a good family is -- not a perfect one -- but one that makes us glad and sad at the same time and reminds us that "these are the people who make you feel safe in this world."

He pitches words of hope and thoughts of empathy to people (all of us) who struggle to find normalcy and understanding in a world that is both somber and sunny ... dark and light ... sad and happy ... every minute.

Listen. Enjoy. Laugh and Cry. And feel free to buy it on Amazon if you choose.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

You Tube: White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin

Bernie Was Supposed To Win ...

Tom Petty

The coolest guy ever. So sad he's gone.

Las Vegas Death Toll Nears 60

A coward. A terrorist.

Farewell to Hugh Hefner

Hugh Hefner, Photo credit: © Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com

Hugh Hefner has died at the age of 91.

He wasn't born into wealth but he had a vision, and he built his Playboy empire through hard work and a little money ($8000) from a small group of investors.

He was a defender of free speech, a pioneer of the sexual revolution, and claimed to be neither Republican nor Democrat. He defended gay rights at a time when no one else would.  

He always appeared relaxed and carefree and content when he was interviewed or photographed, and I'd like to think he led a life of happiness and joy.

Some headlines are calling him an 'icon' --- I agree.

I hope his passing was peaceful. 

Farewell, Hef.


Source: Wikipedia

Green Day Concert!

I saw Green Day at the Xfinity Center in Mansfield, MA! 

They put on the best show ever. I'm pretty sure I lost a pound or two from jumping up and down, waving my arms, clapping, and dancing all night. I also have no voice this morning because I sang the words to every song they played as loud as I could, along with everyone else in the crowd.

Their setlist ranged from Kerplunk right up to Revolution Radio. Seats were Section 6, Row S, nice view center stage. There was no fighting, no problems in the crowd, everyone just seemed happy to be there and ages ranged from small kids to gray haired dinosaurs (like me).

Truly was the best show ever. I loved every minute. This is the first punk rock concert I've ever been to and a special thank you to my son for taking me (I LOVE YOU!)

Here are my pics ... courtesy of my son ... 

 

 Song list, Green Day, Revolution Radio Tour, August 28, 2017, Mansfield, MA

1.           Know Your Enemy

2.          Bang Bang

3.          Revolution Radio

4.          Holiday

5.          Letterbomb

6.          Boulevard of Broken Dreams

7.          Longview

8.          Youngblood

9.          2000 Light Years Away

10.       Hitchin' a Ride

11.         When I Come Around

12.        Welcome to Paradise

13.        Minority

14.       Are We the Waiting

15.        St. Jimmy

16.       Knowledge

17.       Basket Case

18.       She

19.       King for a Day

20.      Shout / Always Look on the Bright Side of Life / (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction / Hey Jude

21.        Still Breathing

22.       Forever Now

Encore:

23.       American Idiot

24.      Jesus of Suburbia

Encore 2:

25.       21 Guns

26.      Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

This. Is. The. Man.

This is the man who makes me laugh ... every time. Photo credit IMBd.